chariots of fire

For some reason, theres a particular part of missions training that I can remember so vividly. Like every saturday, we showed up at church to pray and then we all got ready for p.t. which seester always forced us to do. She would also check if we memorized our verses, and if we didn’t, she made us memorize them while we ran at 7 in the morning on a saturday. So pretty much every saturday morning was like this:

As much as I hated it, theres only about one verse that I still remember from those days; Phillippians 4:6-9.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

You can say my life has been in a pretty big transition phase. A lot has changed over a short period of time and God’s really been teaching me and calling me back the hard way. And I definitely didn’t think it would be this difficult but this growth is definitely necessary. For the past couple years of my life, I’ve been way too indifferent about spirituality and I could only outrun it for so long. In conclusion, my prayer is that this verse becomes my conviction and that I can really live this out.

On a side note…
… Friday by Rebecca Black is worst song I’ve ever heard in my life.
… Normally I don’t give much thoughts to natural disasters and stuff but man, my heart goes out to Japan.

Till next time!

gizmo

I can remember the first day we got him. As soon as we brought him home our aunt’s worthless dog attacked him and he peed everywhere. Too bad he grew up to easy my aunts dog.

I remember that almost every day of my life for the past 12 years or so, there would be one thing I could depend on, and that was him waiting to greet me at the door and being happy.

I remember the first time his age started to show, he started to become unresponsive to my voice and my mom told me that the vet said he was starting to get cataracts. I thought that it would be okay.

I always remember him being one of the first things to come to mind when I thought of home when I was away. Thinking that he would be there would help whenever I felt homesick.

I remember always talking to him, even though I felt kind of dumb talking to something that probably understood nothing I was saying.

I also remember talking to him for the last time saying that he would be okay, and that hopefully his health would last until the next time I came home. I gave him a hug and left for school.

The next time I came home, I noticed he wasn’t there to greet me. I asked my mom where he was and she just looked at me awkwardly and said the words I didn’t ever want to hear.

I didn’t believe her so I went upstairs to check my room and hope to see his bed with him sleeping in it or something. He wasn’t there.

I remember just wanting to sit there and cry, and all I could do was stand there while my mom hugged me as I choked up.

I remember sitting in my house after that, actually by myself, for the first time in a long time. It was just too quiet.

Things are changing… someone, stop this train.

sadness

I think some of the worst non-serious sadness I’ve ever experienced in life was on Sundays after church. While driving home from church, I realized that the weekend was over and that I was about to start another week of crappy-ness. (That was, until senior year, ZING!)

Now take that feeling and multiply it by about 100x and then thats how I feel about going back to school after winter break.

the other sadness is when I think about washington sports

Time to get back to the books. 4.0, here I come!

thanksmas

So its finally that awkward time period between thanksgiving and christmas.

yep, awkward

Time for the most awkward season of year. Awkward because you got to choose who to get a gift for and who not to get a gift for but the people you don’t get a gift for end up giving you a gift. Awkward because ice creates some awesome situations. Awkward cause you realize just how much weight you’ve gained for the long winter.

Getting to that point where I’m making some life decisions. To go abroad or not in the motherland? Makes me kinda sad to leave life in the states behind for a semester but seems like a pretty awesome opportunity to go to the land which I vowed to never visit.

I need like a 7.0 next semester for I fear for my future. (I’m actually 95% kidding.)

Decisions, decisions…

something to think about

courtesy of zappablamma

august rush

I have no inspiration…

- From last time, nothing about my summer has changed. Stuck in Blacksburg.
- Something about august gets me all reminisce-y
- Its already been a year since I’ve left for college
- Swore I thought would be friends with some people forever, but hey
- Excited for fall semester
- Specifically for the people, food, and sports in that order
- I won’t miss waking up at different times all 5 days
- 8am… yels
- New appreciation for dining halls, God bless those people
- Need to start living, get back into the Word
- Inception is in the top 3 movies I’ve ever seen
- Fifa is pretty amazing
- Yangsoo Kim is not so amazing
- Not every day is good, but there’s something good in everyday
- Bob Marley was a pretty wise dude
- Stumbleupon is one of the greatest in-class websites ever
- I wish I could have gone somewhere with the family this summer
- Have to say goodbye to the brother
- Live high, live mighty

This is pretty crappy, but I felt obligated.
See you guys in September.

college pt. 3

I can say that with great displeasure, my summer has ended. I’m in Blacksburg now, buts its okay because I can say my time spent at home was pretty worth-ful. I passed both my NOVA classes (with flying colors), went to Allstars retreat, went to Kings Dominion, spent time with old friends, spent time with new friends, spent time with family, John Wall was drafted, went to Yuraku at least once, celebrated birthdays, decided to change my major, went to some spiffy museums, went to a Nationals game, watched the World Cup religiously, shaved my head, went to a bunch of graduations, ate a lot of chipotle and korean food, gained some weight, kind of had a prom, watched a basketball tournament, went on a random trip to Richmond, went to the beach, watched some cool July 4th fireworks, swam a lot, laughed a lot, lived a lot.

Retreat was a blessing as always. It was awesome to see and meet kids that had a passion for God. It was also cool going back to the place where my faith first started and seeing the younger generation growing up and stepping into the world. I had an awesome group of kids and none of them were shekkis, had an awesome sister group with whom we swept the retreat events. (Won skits and olympics.) Dominated some kids in football and basketball but got my ankles broke by a top DeMatha recruit and got crossed up in soccer. But I shouldn’t really be bragging cause these kids are 6 years younger than me.. they’ll probably be better than me in all sports in a year or so… I also learned a lot about what it means to wrestle with God… and its kind of like wrestling this guy.

ROIDDD RAGEEEEEE

Washington sports looks promising for about the first time in my life. Redskins are looking better with Donovan, and a somewhat reinforced O-line. Talk about acquiring Vincent Jackson kinda makes me happy. Wizards are making some interesting moves with John Wall, Kirk Heinrich, and Yi Jianlian. Strasburg is pooping on people but everyone around him on the Nationals kinda suck so its going for naught. The Caps got that dude whose name I do not know so maybe things will start to turn up for them in the playoffs.

World Cup has been pretty disappointing… but then again you can’t really compare every performance by Korea to their 2002 glory year. But its okay… I still love you Korea and I will see you again in 4 years.

:[

Summer school is a lot of things I expected it to be and also a lot of the opposite. Waking up at 7am is actually kind of nice because class is done around 12 everyday so we have a whole day but then it also sucks to only get 5 hours of sleep a day. I’ve already battled an ant infestation in my short stay, heard some hilarious stories, almost saw someone kiss Mike (waddup), played a lot of pong because there is absolutely nothing else to do, learned to get over the fact that every shower here is kinda grimy so just gotta man up, and eating some Blacksburg food that I’ve missed.

If you read this much, then you are clearly one of the people I love. So here’s to you:

its true.

(you should check out that site.. its kinda cute.. hahahaha)

bp

to be honest, i dont really care as much as i should about the environment and perserving it and all that cool stuff because i feel like my efforts are just a drop in the bucket. and i know for sure that everyone in the united states has heard about this oil spill by now in the gulf coast. at first i though, i thought, ‘they’ll figure it out in a few days, no biggie.’ now its been a month or so and bp still doesn’t have its shiz together. they’ve tried 4(?) different ideas to try and stop the spill and still, nothing. now the oil spill has been reported reaching florida, ruining totally beautiful beaches. but nothing ground my gears as much as this did:

http://wildammo.com/2010/06/04/what-bp-doesnt-want-you-to-see-from-their-oil-spill
edit: oops, was actually a picture of bp.

so bp, way to totally take a crap in the gulf of mexico destroying everything in sight.

a much more environmentally friendly bp (as long as they recycle)

/rant

spring…

… because technically its not quite summer.

so goes another academic year in my life. i think i’ve learned more in freshman year about life than i did in my classes. (cause honestly i didn’t go to that many classes, hah.) but i guess thats what everyone is saying so there is no need to repeat the general consensus. the year definitely flew by and it kinda scares me when everyone tells me that the years only get faster. thankfully(?) i’ll probably be in school an extra year so maybe it won’t be so bad.

spring/summer plans? school, school, and more school. maybe go to the beach one day? try and hit the gym? go to kings dominion? win the lottery? in the words of a dear friend: “i dunnnnoooo.”

if at all i became more wise, its this these things that were imparted to me:
-plans are overrated (wadup 323)
-school is pretty awesome except for the school part
-if youre at school, you want to be home. and vice versa
-people make life awesome, and for those people:

you deserve it!

dreams

i can remember every single one of my dreams. i don’t know whether its a blessing, a curse, a skill, or something that god just decided i would be able to do. i guess it may be a blessing because i can do cool things in my dreams like snowboard like shaun white or fly over the grand canyon, or it may be a curse because i may get murdered by one of my family members in my dream (but thats one for another time.) maybe its a skill because i used to be interested in what dreams meant when i realized i remembered most of my dreams, and so i made an effort to remember my dreams. maybe its something god decided i would be able to do just because its all part of his mysterious plan. but i just don’t know.

i also don’t know if i believe if dreams have meaning. yes, science has theorized that our thoughts or desires or whatever have an impact on our dreams, but those are just theories. i don’t think the theories are enough to explain dreams.

i don’t know the reason for this post so if your tired of rambling, you can stop reading now… but for those that are interested.. i guess i’ll continue sharing. heres one reoccurring dream that i’ve been having all my life.

i used to dream the same dream everyday when i lived back in my old house in maryland. i would be sleeping in my room by myself on the floor, and then i would start to hear stomping on the steps that lead up to my room. i would then get up and try to keep the door closed and someone would be trying to open it. and the next thing you know im sitting awake in my room about to cry. and then i decided to sleep with my grandma till we moved out of that house. haha. it would either be the stair stomping dream or one where i’m hiding in my unfinished basement in my old house and i would hear stomping down the stairs, and something would be walking around down in the basement but it would never find me. maybe thats why to this day, i hate hate hate stairs and dark basements give me the creeps.

vulgar? yes. but its true and you know it.

i don’t really know where i’m going with all this. if you want, you can ask me on any given day what i dreamt the night before and i can tell you 90% of the time. and i don’t make this up because what would be the point of that? do i say this to build myself up because i think i’m cool because i can remember dreams? i don’t know. am i saying i need someone to tell me what my dreams mean? i probably wouldn’t believe them anyway.

dreams start to to make less sense when you try to put meaning behind them. yeah, i’ve dreamt of running away from murderers in my own house, being in love with the most random people, flying through the sky only to fall, dying a gruesome and terrible death, going to heaven, bumming and sitting around, being rich, you name it.

but maybe dreams don’t need logic behind them. maybe dreams are just something that we have and there never will be an explanation. maybe the best thing that can de done about dreams is to just follow them. because if no one ever followed their dreams, where would society be? maybe dreams are a way of god showing a glimpse of his glory, through the ordinary or the unordinary.

maybe i’ve just over-thinking this. oh well. i guess its just one of those those things that will forever be a mystery. maybe because its 4:30 in the morning. i guess i will never know.

thanksgiving

i don’t really believe in Thanksgiving.

nah, not really

i don’t think you can just go around and tell someone to be thankful. some people don’t really have reasons to be thankful. catch my drift? however, i do believe in thanks giving. so pretty much the point of this entry is to give thanks, something that i was not this past Thanksgiving. another birthday has come and gone and after reflecting on this past year, i can really count my blessings. here it goes;

first and foremost, more specifically..
thanks to my mom, dad, and brother who continue to love as family does
thanks to God, for keeping me alive and out of trouble for this long
thanks to my friends, old and new, for doing cool things

and more generally…

life – this past year, i think i’ve been reminded how often life changes. i never thought i would see the day that certain things would happen, but i guess they had to happen some time. like they say, variety is the spice of life? hah.

time – i think time can teach us a whole lot. some things about time; 24 hours is just not enough for one day, and what we do with with our time says a whole about us. (duh.) i’ve learned theres barely enough time for what is necessary, so why waste time worrying and about pointless things? spending time with the things you love and care about is so crucial, so why even bother with everything else? time also heals pretty well. my broken pinky healed in a few months. the pain of my 1st physics exam grade is now gone. and from a year a go, i feel a lot better about the things that weren’t so clear one year ago.

home – going home may be one of the sweetest things. theres something real comforting about knowing that someone at home is anticipating your return, even if its one or two people. home is a real nice step back from the routine that is school.

love – you just need to love.

haters – even your haters.

so heres to the 20th year of my life
shout out to the singles, for making 5 hours of my birthday pretty awesome. i love you guys.
1 peter 3:18
till next time.